I'll Be Your Puppeteer
by Larien Mithrandir
Summary: Sasori and Deidara struggle with the self-discovery of their feelings for each other. Set just before the mission to capture Gaara. SasoDei yaoi. Rated M for a hint of lemon.


Sasori lay on his back in his bed, staring at the ceiling of the room he shared with his partner, Deidara. They had just come back from a mission in Sunagakure. It was a minor mission, only scouting in preparation for capturing the new kazekage to take his bijuu. Going back to his home country always made the puppeteer more testy than usual, and Deidara had been exceptionally talkative on this mission. Sometimes, the redhead just wanted to shove that explosive clay down the blonde's throat.

The scene played itself out in his mind, bringing a smile to Sasori's face. Every detail was clear. Deidara's hair shone brighter than the morning sun. His one eye seemed to be a bright pool. His lips were warm and soft. Feelings began to stir deep within Sasori, feelings that shouldn't have been there. His murderous fantasies soon turned to erotic fantasies.

The puppet man sat straight up in his bed, his eyes wide in shock at the images that had just flashed through his mind. Getting up and heading towards the bathroom to wash his face, he caught a glimpse of an old snakeskin left in a corner by his former partner, Orochimaru. _At least the brat isn't like _that _man_, he thought, picking up the snakeskin and shuddering. At that particular moment, Deidara came running down the hall. Sasori slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it. Sasori had never allowed the blonde to see him outside of Hiruko.

"Sasori no Danna, let me in!" Deidara yelled, banging on the door. "Give me a minute, brat. I'm not dressed," Sasori replied, hurriedly getting into Hiruko. Meanwhile, unwanted images of the seemingly hunchbacked old man ran through the younger man's mind. He shuddered and said, "That's okay, Danna. Take your time."

Sasori opened the door to find Deidara leaning against the opposite wall. His arms were crossed over his chest and his right leg was bent at the knee, allowing him to prop his foot on the same wall. "Danna," the clay master began, "that was your village we were in, un?" The puppeteer looked up at his partner and scowled. "Stop your yapping, brat." The blonde pushed away from the wall and strode into the room he shared with his danna. "It was just a question, un."

Deidara closed the door and shirked his cloak. "That old man sure has been cranky lately, un," he remarked as he sat down on his bed. He took out a small bit of the explosive clay he always carried and began to mold and shape it with the mouths on his hands. However, the blonde was not really concentrating on his clay. His mind was diverted by an event that had happened on the mission…

The two Akatsuki members had been well-hidden atop a mountainous pile of rocks near the Kazekage's room. It was merely routine surveillance, and anyone was bound to grow bored when the only thing to do was watch a person sleep. Deidara was trying to concentrate on the Kazekage, but the blonde couldn't help but steal glances at his much-older partner. As of late, the clay master had been finding the old man to be of increasing interest. As he crouched beside his partner, watching him through a sideways look, Deidara noticed a look in Sasori's eyes.

Sasori turned his head, obviously noticing that he was being studied. "What is it, brat?" he asked in a coarse whisper. "Nothing, Danna, un. I just…Well, I'm bored, I guess," Deidara replied, turning his attention back to their target. A new person had entered the room. It was an old woman and Deidara guessed his partner had been watching her when he got that strange look in his eyes. Without thinking, a question flowed from the blonde's lips. "Is she your wife, un?"

The old man quickly turned his full attention on his partner. "Be quiet, Deidara! It's not important who that woman is! Concentrate on our current task," he retorted. Turning his attention back to the room, he added, "Besides, she's too old to be my wife. I was never married."

Deidara laughed softly. "If you say so, Danna, un." Suddenly, the rocks beneath him began to give way. The blonde tumbled twenty or so feet before landing painfully on a large boulder. "Augh!" he groaned, wincing at the pain shooting through his spine. His partner climbed down far quicker than he believed an old man could climb. "Are you alright?" Sasori questioned, worry making his pupils larger than normal. "I-I'm fine, I think, un. My back hurts, I have a couple of scratches, and maybe a bruise or two will appear in the morning, but it's nothing major, Danna," the blonde replied, wincing as the old man helped him up.

"We're returning to the base," the puppet master stated. "We've watched this target enough." Deidara tried to stand on his own, but his right leg was numb. He fell back to the boulder. Sasori noticed and let his partner use him as a crutch. The two made it back to the base without incident…

Deidara lay staring at the clay figure in his hands, which happened to be a flawless and intricate replication of Sasori. He studied the small figure's face, which held the expression he'd noticed in the old man's face as he'd helped the blonde up. It was warm and kind. "I don't know if you were only putting on that face because I was hurt or if you wore it genuinely, un," he said to the clay figure.

"Who are you talking to, brat?" Sasori growled, entering the room and scowling at his young partner. "Did that fall knock your brain loose?" Deidara quickly stashed the figure with the rest of his clay bombs and blushed. Little did he know, the puppeteer had been thinking of the same event as he'd washed his face.

Sasori sat down at his desk and took out several vials. Three were filled with liquids of different color and the other four were empty. He then began reading from the open book on his desk, scribbling notes of what ingredients he needed. Deidara watched him intently, noting every detail of the hunchback and catching even the smallest movements. The puppet man could feel his partner scrutinizing him, but he ignored it as best he could. After several agonizing minutes, he could take it no longer. He quickly stood up from his desk and whirled around to face the blonde.

"Does my grotesque form disgust you so much that you feel you need to keep a careful watch on my every movement, baka?" he questioned menacingly. A poison-dipped needle glinted in his hand. The poison on the needle wasn't lethal, but it could cause complete paralysis for several hours. Deidara's bottom lip quivered a bit and his one eye was large with fear and looked for all the world like a bright crystal pool of water. The puppet man returned to his desk, ignoring the recently familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey, Danna, something's been bothering me since that night we were in Suna, un," Deidara said, a bit cautiously. The old man continued to scribble on the piece of paper, although the blonde was not certain if he was still noting what ingredients he needed or if he was just scribbling. "You remember the old woman in the Kazekage's room? Well, you said she was too old to be your wife, and that you'd never even been married, un. But I noticed you watching her with a look in your eyes. Who was she, un?"

Sasori continued to scribble and said softly, "I don't know what you're talking about, brat." Deidara stood and crossed over to the door. "No, you _do_ know what I'm talking about, un," he said, locking the door. He walked over to his partner and gripped the old man's wrist. He took the pen and threw it across the room, then proceeded to hoist himself to sit on the desk.

"I'm an open book to you, un. But I don't know anything about you. You're whole existence is a mystery to me, un!" the blonde said testily. "I want…No…I _need_ some answers, Danna."

The puppet man sighed and looked up at his young partner. The clay master looked so beautiful when he was angry. A few strands of his golden locks were out of place, his brow was furrowed, his one eye glistening dangerously, and his lips…Those soft, luscious lips were a hard, thin line, turned slightly down at the corners. Sasori could stand it no longer. He stood and crossed the room to his bed.

"Well," he began, "that old woman was Chiyo-baa. I'm not really what you think I am, Deidara." The blonde stared at his partner, his face unchanged. "I'm not this old, hunchbacked man you perceive me to be." Sasori let the front of Hiruko drop and stepped from the giant puppet.

Deidara's face softened as he stared at the small cloaked figure who stood before him. "You mean…That old man was just a puppet?" he asked surprised. "Yes," replied the small figure. "His name is Hiruko. My appearance is not as frightening as his, you see." A small, pale hand rose to remove the cloak from the small figure. "This is what I really look like."

The blonde stared in wonder at what stood before him. Sasori was more of a boy than a man, coming up only to Deidara's shoulder. He had blood-red hair that was a bit shaggy. His beautiful amber eyes were half-lidded and a small smirk played on his lips. He was shirtless, revealing a cylindrical object stuck through the left side of his chest. On the front of the object, his name was painted in deep red. He wore the same pants as the other members of Akatsuki, leaving the appearance of the rest of his boyish body to his partner's imagination.

"So you're a puppet, too," Deidara remarked, blushing. His imagination took its liberty with what was left to it. The blonde noticed the beautiful redhead was still staring at him. "Yes. I am my own work of art. I wanted eternal beauty, and this was the result," Sasori replied.

Suddenly, the smirk on Sasori's face became more sinister. "You know, Deidara, you're not completely an open book to me. You have me standing here shirtless now. Don't you think you should return the favor?"

Deidara's blush turned a far deeper shade of red. Sasori laughed and pulled the black cloak back on. He then slipped back into Hiruko and went to his desk and picked up the piece of paper. The clay master let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "I'm going out to collect the ingredients for these poisons," he called, leaving the room.

Out in the woods, Sasori was working his way along slowly, searching for the necessary plants to make his poisons. However, his mind was more focused on the scouting mission…

Sasori was crouched beside his partner, peering into the window at the boy who had recently become Kazekage. _He looks a lot like me_, the redhead thought, hidden inside his favorite puppet. Suddenly, an old woman entered the room. Sasori recognized her immediately. _Chiyo-baa_, he thought, remembering his teacher fondly.

The puppet master noticed that his partner was staring at him and turned his attention to the blonde. "What is it, brat?" he asked in a coarse whisper. "Nothing, Danna, un. I just…Well, I'm bored, I guess," Deidara replied, turning his attention back to their target. Sasori did likewise, shaking his head inside Hiruko to wipe away his childish memories. He couldn't be distracted by the past now.

"Is she your wife, un?" Deidara questioned quietly. The redhead quickly turned his full attention to his partner and replied, "Be quiet, Deidara! It's not important who that woman is! Concentrate on our current task." Turning his attention back to the room, he added, "Besides, she's too old to be my wife. I was never married."

Deidara laughed softly. "If you say so, Danna, un." Suddenly, the rocks beneath him began to give way. The blonde tumbled twenty or so feet before landing on a large boulder. "Augh!" he groaned. Sasori followed the blonde down as quickly as he could inside Hiruko. "Are you alright?" he questioned, letting worry seep into his features as he studied the clay artist. He marveled at how the blonde's beautiful young features seemed magical in the moonlight. "I-I'm fine, I think, un. My back hurts, I have a couple of scratches, and maybe a bruise or two will appear in the morning, but it's nothing major, Danna," the blonde replied. Sasori noted how his partner winced as he helped the younger man up. _He probably can't walk on his own_, he remarked to himself.

"We're returning to the base," the puppet master stated. "We've watched this target enough." Deidara tried to stand on his own, but his right leg was numb. He fell back to the boulder. Sasori, suspicions confirmed, allowed his partner to use him as a crutch. He wouldn't admit it, but the two returned to the base sooner than he liked…

Sasori took note of the emotions stirring deep within him. He stopped abruptly and sat down to think. Shock and realization made his eyes wide and his hands shake. It was all too clear to him now. "I love him," the redhead stated to no one in particular. Relief settled over the puppet man and as he stood to finish his task, he resolved to lock his feelings for his partner away. _That brat couldn't possibly return my feelings_, he mused.

Back in their shared room, Deidara lay on his back in his bed, another piece of explosive clay in his hands. He was mulling over recent events, trying to sort everything out. The mouths on his hands worked away at creating another miniature masterpiece of the blonde's partner. This time, they worked out an exact replica of the boyish figure that had recently been revealed to the clay artist.

"He really is a beautiful boy, un," Deidara mused. "I was already coming to the realization of my feelings, even when I believed he was still that ugly, hunchbacked old man, un." He held his most recent work of art up and studied the intricacies of its design. "It must have started on that surveillance mission. Yeah, that's when it started, un! I started to love…" the blonde trailed off, letting the clay figure fall to his lap as he brought his hands to his mouth. His eye grew wide with shock and fear. _I can't let him know_, he thought to himself. _He doesn't feel the same way I do, un. He'd only get mad and yell at me._ He picked up his newest clay figure and placed it in a special place on a shelf above his headboard.

At that moment, Sasori came dragging into the room. He locked the door behind him and got out of Hiruko. Looking over at Deidara, he smiled and said, "It really is a relief having you know my true form, brat. Hiruko may be my favorite work of art, but he's cumbersome." Deidara rolled his eyes and replied mockingly, "Yeah, if you consider that piece of junk 'art', un. True art is a bang!"

Sasori sat down at his desk and started taking various plants out of a satchel that had been secured to Hiruko's side. "You know nothing of true art, baka," he said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "True art is eternal." The redhead found that he enjoyed these debates about true art. In fact, he enjoyed every time he talked with his fellow artist.

"Danna, I get the feeling you don't appreciate me, un. A-as an artist, I mean, un," Deidara said quietly. The redhead looked up from making his poison and over at his partner. "What do you mean, brat? True, I don't consider those fireworks of yours as art. But you _are _good at what you do," he said, an evil grin creeping across his face. "I noticed that clay figure on your shelf when I came in. Quite impressive, especially for only having seen that form once." A hint of red stole onto the blonde's face. "Y-you saw that, un?" he questioned shakily.

Sasori grinned even wider as he stood and strode over to his partner. The blonde sat straight up on the edge of his bed, his legs spread leisurely. The puppet man took note of the fact that he stood just barely taller than his seated partner. He let his eyelids droop until they were nearly closed and asked, "You think I don't appreciate you?" Deidara's eyes grew wide with fear as the redhead came ever closer. He leaned back a bit, but Sasori only chuckled and straddled him. He fell backwards and Sasori leaned over him, his face inches away from the blonde's.

"D-danna?" the clay artist asked innocently. "Shh," Sasori replied, need driving him further than he really wanted to go. He closed his eyes completely and slid his mouth over his young partner's. The blonde gave a small cry of surprise. Contrary to his belief, Sasori's mouth was soft and warm. Feeling the puppet master's tongue sweep over his lips, Deidara parted them, granting his partner full access. Sasori's tongue swept inside Deidara's mouth quickly, probing and exploring as much as he could. Desire began to burn within the blonde, producing noticeable physical reactions and causing him to whimper. Sasori took notice and reluctantly pulled away from him, chuckling softly.

"What's wrong, baka? You've never experienced such intimate relations before?" Sasori teased. Deidara continued to lie on his back, all color drained from his face and tears spilling from his eyes. The redhead quickly climbed off of his partner, the smile disappearing from his face. He cast his eyes all around the room, avoiding his young partner's gaze. The look on the blonde's face tore him to pieces.

"I'm sorry, Deidara," the puppet man said softly as he turned and walked back to his desk. "I…I shouldn't have done that. It was wrong and reckless. I-if you don't want—" "No, un!" Deidara spat suddenly, leaping from the bed. "Don't apologize, Danna. At least, don't apologize if…if you really meant it, un." Sasori looked up at him, searching his face for some meaning. The clay artist looked lost and helpless. The redhead stood and again strode toward his partner. Instead of repeating his previous actions, Sasori brushed past Deidara and plopped down on his own bed.

"Don't apologize if I really meant it," he mused. After several agonizing moments, Sasori looked up at his partner and said with a grin, "Then I don't apologize." Deidara still stood, looking on in shock, his eyes still glistening with tears, his lips quivering. He looked down at his feet and let another whimper escape. Sasori sighed and asked testily, "What's wrong, now, brat? Did you want me to apologize or didn't you? Well, I have news for you. I've made a very important decision just now, and I absolutely refuse to apologize for my feelings, feelings which I can't help!"

Deidara looked up at the puppet master's sudden outburst. He sniffed once more and promptly wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "Danna, I…I didn't want you to apologize, un. I had hoped that you'd really meant what you did. And since you refuse to apologize for your feelings, I refuse to apologize for mine." The redhead sighed and asked quietly, "How long? How long have you felt this way?" "Well, I'm not sure, but I realized it on our last mission, un. What about you, Danna? How long have you felt this way?" Sasori looked down at his hands. "I guess for the same amount of time as you, brat," he admitted.

Suddenly the blonde began to giggle. "What's so funny, baka?" Sasori questioned, looking up again. "I guess," Deidara said between giggles, "this means we're…we're secret lovers?" The redhead's face twisted in confusion. "Well, we can't exactly let the rest of Akatsuki know how we feel, un," the younger man stated, sauntering over to his partner's bed. He crawled around on the bed until he was behind the puppet man and wrapped his arms around the other's small waist. "Secret lovers," Sasori murmured, leaning back into the blonde's chest. He felt the arousal of his partner and need surfaced in his own body.

Slowly, Deidara began to slide his hands lower, gently slipping them into the waistband of his partner's pants. Sasori immediately stood to take his pants off, but Deidara stopped him. He turned and looked questioningly into the young man's single blue eye. "Danna, you're a puppet, right? Then I'll be your puppeteer, un," he said, pulling the redhead back down to the bed.

Sasori awoke in the early hours of the morning to find himself naked. A slender arm was draped over his waist. His eyes widened in shock as the memory of the previous night's activities played itself over and over again. He attempted to lift the arm without waking its owner. The blonde stirred slightly and mumbled inaudibly. Sasori looked over at him and smiled. He then snuggled back into the covers with his secret lover, quite content to be held.

"Good morning, Danna," Deidara murmured. Sasori snuggled closer to the blonde and replied, "Good morning to you, too, brat." The clay artist kissed the puppet master's bare shoulder, causing certain things to rise. "Danna, let's just stay like this today, un. I like being your puppeteer," Deidara smirked. "Baka," the redhead said. "We have to go back to Suna today. We have to capture the Kazekage and take the ichibi." Sasori tried to pull away from the blonde, but Deidara held him tight and whined, "I don't wanna, un!" The redhead gave up struggling, a look of annoyance on his face. However, he was actually enjoying the fact that the clay artist was holding him so tightly around the waist.

"Danna," Deidara whispered against Sasori's neck, "I want you, hot and heavy, un. I want to control you again." He forced the redhead onto his back, immediately straddling him. Deidara brought his face close to his partner's. He then kissed Sasori's throat and whispered, "I want to see that look of sheer pleasure on your face when I push you over the edge."

Deidara began slowly kissing down the middle of Sasori's chest, leaving a burning trail. He finally reached the puppet man's waist. He looked up to find Sasori's eyes closed in enjoyment. The blonde took the redhead's shoulders and pulled him into a sitting position. "Have I changed your mind, Danna, un?" Sasori's eyelids slowly slid open. "If you'll be my puppeteer again, we can wait until after lunch to leave, brat. But no later!"


End file.
